I'm quitting my job.  I hate it.  I'm miserable.  So I'm quitting.

I have put in an application to the credit union.  I also called Shelley and I have a job at Fred's if I need one.

I'm just done.  And I need time to just be without having any other responsibilities.  

I'm so tired.  Tired of saying I'm going to do things and never doing them.  I'm tired of feeling lazy and useless... and I'm tired of wasting my life by not living it.

So.  I'm quitting.  I'm giving my two weeks sometime after Christmas.  

How do I plan to pay rent, utilities, and all other miscellaneous bills?  I don't have a plan.  This scares the shit out of me.  But for once, I'm not going to worry about it.  God has taken care of everything up to this point.  Why in the hell would he stop now?

Last night Grace, Anna, and I had a long conversation about where everything is going and what is important and what is not.   I find it so hard to conform to normal conventions when I just don't think that a career, a house, and being responsible is important.  I have such a restless soul.

So what do I do?

Hopefully we'll find out :)

I've been job searching.  And I'll do more this weekend.  I just don't like to think about quitting because I get really nervous.  I hate quitting.  It is by far my least favorite thing to do.

So.  After much thought and deliberation over the past few days, I've decided to reconsider my decisions to move to Columbus next fall.

I've been really torn.  I have made so many new friends the past few weeks and really gotten involved in church... and I am just unsure if I am ready to delve into another 2 years of school right away.

Wouldn't it be nice to pay of some of my debt?  Wouldn't it be nice to not have anything to do after I get off of work?  Wouldn't it be nice to have a life again?

I could garden.  and cook. and read. and sew. and dream.  I know that last one sounded cheesy, but I really have been lacking good dream time lately.

Here are some recent ones:  Become a student of Native American history and culture.

   Travel cross-country in an Airstream that I restore.  

The time is nearing for me to purchase a new vehicle.  I've been considering something that could tow a travel trailer that is eco-friendly.  Sounds impossible, right?  Well, I just happened to come across a couple of young people like myself, who apparently tow their trailer with left over veggie grease.  I'll have to research this a bit further.  

I need to start a list of dreams.  Inspiration to make an actual list came from this blog.  

I also purchased this book that claims to be the merit badge handbook for grown up girls.  I shall begin that process soon, and I'll let you know how it goes as well.

Well, it is mighty late.  I don't think I'm going to make it to the gym in the morning.  Oh well.  Maybe another day.